Okay I don’t really know if I can explain this without sounding like a total codependent brat but I digress. So believe it or not I am still in middle school at age 14 in the oh so wonderful 8th grade and though I do have friends in 8th I have or had if you will a good majority of friends a grade up go into high school and I don’t know what it is but people just think that people in lower grades are horrible people who can’t hold reasonable friendships which is totally untrue. They treat you like little children like one time I sat down after getting my lunch at a table that was predominantly girls a grade up from me and right when I sat down they stoped talking and one looked right at me and said. “What we’re talking about is much to inappropriate for you you need to leave.” One thing you should now right now is that I’m not a very angry person I’m very mellow but when she said this to me I was furious. To say something like that to someone who could be only a month apart from you in age is disrespectful. This just opens up a new topic. I dont have a ton of really close friends and people really didn’t start to like me untill middle school. After teachers started not giving a crap and not making you invite everyone to your birthday party I never was invited to anything which as you could imagine is just great on someones self esteem. Ive probably only gone to about 2-3 parties in the past 5 years and I now get really offended when I dont get invited to things and I could name dozens of times where it couldn’t have been less obvious that someone had planed an invent and I was the only person not to have been invited. Last year this girl who I had known for 2 and a half years and thought that we had a close friendship invited everyone and I don’t mean like in reality she only invited like 5 people I mean like everyone she knew and my other friends response to try to calm me down was that she didn’t know me that well which was totall bull crap ( by the way that other friend ended up having a party at the pool at the apartment complex that we BOTH LIVED AT and had the nerve to not only not invite me but to have it where we both lived.) So I guess to some this all up would be one question that would be what did I do wrong? Like its not that I’m not a good friend like I’m a freaking hufflepuff for crying out loud I would take a bullet for any of my friends. So if any of the people who I thought we’re my friends ever find this I would like them to know that I am genuinely hurt and I just want to know why you thought that leaving all your younger friends behind with out explanation was okay.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Monday, January 14, 2013
Right when I lay down to sleep all of the creepy things that ive seen on YouTube or movies or shows etc starts to go though my head and my brain starts to twist it and make up these scenarios and it freacks me the crap out and I wish this wouldn’t happen cause I like sleep and I’m kinda afraid of having night mares.
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
So I went to my churches new years eve dance to night and I had just walked in when this guy walks in and I glanced at his face and my mind was like “that’s gibby from icarly”. So that was kind of surprising but, I came up to him and asked him if he was indeed the guy who played gibby (well I made a friend ask don’t judge me) and he said yes and shook my hand and my friends. An older friend did ask him to dance but he said no so I don’t know what that tells you about that person. So in conclusion, interesting first dance.